The topics during the first two days of the summit that rebuked me to the core were the topics on Lordship and Hypocrisy. The Word of God convicted me of my self-centeredness and lack of submission to God’s will. And by the end of the second day, during a prayer time, I was crying my heart out – of repentance and surrender to the Lord.
But I remember the first few weeks of my relationship with God. He spoke to me a lot about forgiveness and how important it is to restore my relationship with my family. Then I would grudgingly respond to Him with “But God, that’s too hard. The damage is impossible to restore”.
Until one day, the person who shared to me the gospel said, “Go home. Start your new life in Christ with your family”.
“God… if You are real, don’t let me wake up anymore. Let me die, please.”
That was my hopeless and helpless plea, one empty night of October 2013.