I would think I already know the nitty-gritty of “managing” time, but no. I eventually realized that any attempt to manage time is useless because we cannot manage something we do not own and control in the first place. But we can steward it and surrender it to God because it has been given to us – in a form that is short therefore precious.
In my attempt to finish papers after papers in the fastest way I think possible, there were times when I would find it hard to pray. And whenever the Holy Spirit reminds me to pray, my mind would wander left and right about the pile of essays that I need to do. The cramming nights and restless rest days became so centered on how I can be able to finish all of it, instead of relying on God who obviously knows better.
In 2014, when I was staring blanking at my unfortunate self-inflicted situations, I could not see hope. Three years later, God helped me figure it out. I thought He was punishing me, but He was in control of every single thing. His plans were intended to prosper me and not to harm me; to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He allowed those situations not to punish me but for me to witness how sovereign and almighty He is.
He wanted to lead me and guide me towards His best.
The more I try to find time and earn it on my own, the more I will lose it. But the more I lose and surrender my time for the Lord’s sake, the more I will gain it. This realization is pretty much aligned with what the Lord says in Matthew 13:12 – “Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them”. I realized that whenever I am selfish of what God has given me (like time); the more I will get frustrated.